…in one sense at least.

Emotionally it’s cripplingly sad, terrifying, oddly comforting in some small way, and so debilitatingly confusing that I can hardly function. I’m struggling to cope just with the thought processes needed to type this out. Physically it’s so shocking I believe it’s comparable to what it would feel like to go without sleep and food for a week, then being ducked in an ice bath, and all the while catastrophically loud and invasive noises are being made uncomfortably close to you, yet far enough away to fill you with a shattering paranoia.

And I didn’t see it coming, I reveled in it, even though it could only have inevitably ended one way, which i didn’t realise until it did.